30 second national spot for television that was going to air in 3 days time. Get the voice over from the client and after it's cut into the spot, it's over 50 seconds long and wall to wall!
Me:This VO is way too long. Over 20 seconds too long to be exact. Do you want to cut some copy from it or do a re-write to get it down to time?
Client: NO! Don't cut ANYTHING from it, I want it all in there. Make it fit, but don't change the speed that he reads it at and make sure that the voice over matches the picture and I'd like a pause at the beginning so it doesn't sound so rushed.
Me: It's over twice the length of the spot so your only options here are cut the copy down or have a voice over that sounds like a chipmunks album. I could make it happen if it was a second or two but not 20 seconds.
Client: EXPLODES! "DON'T TREAT ME LIKE AN IDIOT!! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS? TELL THE COMPUTER TO FIT THAT VO INTO THE SPOT AND IT BETTER NOT SOUND SPED UP! IT CAN BE DONE, I'VE SEEN IT.
As predicted, it sounded like a chipmunk on crack. Client storms out only to come back with my boss who looks at the situation and says to the client. "You'd better cut that VO down if you want it to fit and sound reasonable."
Client: Why can't you people just give me what I want?
My Boss: Because it's impossible. Maybe we should have Stephen Hawking come in and manipulate space and time to make it fit. (his attempt to lighten the mood of this "client".
now this is the best part....
Client: yeah this Stephen guy, call him and see if he can come in because I need this to fit and sound good too. Does he live close by? Can you get him today because I need to show this at a meeting in the morning.
How do these people even land jobs let alone one's that pay well. I've had smarter conversations with 2 year olds.