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Wednesday February 20, 2019
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Stupid Client Quote #5189

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IseeDeadPixels | posted 03-30-2007 | Number of Votes: 111  |  Current Rating: 4.55   

So I worked for a cable company for a couple of years answering the phone. It convinced me that the amount of imbecility in this world proves that there are major flaws in the theory of evolution. I swear I had one customer ask me "on what channel is channel 15"? Another tried to argue that my name shouldn't be pronounced the way I did and ended up yelling at me furiously! Often old ladies subscribing only to basic cable would call asking why they didn't get the movie channels anymore. We would send a cable guy and, sure enough, he would find an illegal decoder, probably installed by a sibling, unbestknown to grandma. At night, old gay guys would call asking us to tell them what adult movies were on that night. They would get a kick out of hearing us (obligated to) politely say: "tonight sir, you may enjoy Backdoor delivery, or Shaving Ryan's privates for just 9.95$ on pay-per-view". Some of these old freaks would ask us to repeat it again, and again. The worst was when it was a holiday down in the US, and so the Price is right wasn't on in Canada. I swear I have had to argue with customers telling me that they wanted to be refunded for one day because The Price is Right is the only reason why they were subscribing to basic cable (you know your life is pathetic, when...). I have had to argue with a Muslim asking me to stop broadcasting scrambled porn movies because their child was masturbating to the blur. That's how I learned that masturbation is contrary to the teachings of the holy Koran (and incidentally that I can forget about the 17 virgins when my time comes). Once or twice a week I would get a call from some alcoholics anonymous or MADD mother giving me hell because there is too much alcohol on TV, a vegan angry about cooking shows, a lesbian about too many heterosexuals on tv, and so many other freaks of the sort were somehow convinced that I, the 14$ an hour loser who answered the phone, could do something about their nonsensical complaints. Man, I miss that job!

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