So the Office Manager calls our helpdesk with that cold, biting tone which can only mean one thing - another perceived IT issue she thinks we need to drop everything for and get to right away. Unfortunately, said Office Manager also happens to be married to the CEO.
"I've been dealing with this problem for too long now, and it's time we ['we' - as if she's part of the solution too] do something about it."
"OK, what's the problem?"
"It's the keyboard."
"Sure... is it not working or something?"
"You could say that. Here's the problem: I need the Escape key *on the other side* of the keyboard."
"Uh... come again?"
"You know, the ESC button? Its location is just about the last place I'd want it! We need to move it to the upper right hand corner of the keyboard."
"(pause) - Wow. Um... I really don't know what to tell you. That's how we buy them; we don't actually make the keyboards down here."
"Well, as far as I'm concerned this is an IT request - isn't there ANYTHING you folks can do here?" (now it's 'you folks' instead of 'we'. Funny.)
"No, not really. I, um... No."
"(sigh) - Alright. That stinks though." (hangs up)
We laughed for a long, long time about that one. Funny thing is that about a week later I saw a write-up for a configurable keyboard with magnetic buttons you could set up any way you wanted... but decided not to revive the topic.