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Sunday February 16, 2020
Total Stupid Comments : 8391

Stupid Client Quote #6716

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martini | posted 11-17-2008 | Number of Votes: 97  |  Current Rating: 4.16   

So I read this website where people complain about stupid things other people
have said, and this one guy complains about people who complain that their
Martinis are 'too strong'.

He must have thought that we were all too stupid to get the point, so he
parenthetically explained that a martini is 'only vodka (gin) and sometimes
vermouth'. Except the thing is, he's wrong.

A classic Martini contains orange bitters, sweet vermouth, and gin. A dry Martini -
- which is what most people think of today when they think of a 'martini' -- is
made with just dry vermouth and gin (though it's much better if you also include
the orange bitters).

All Martinis should also contain a bit of water from the melting of the ice you stir
them with (James Bond is an idiot; Martinis should always be stirred, because they
go all cloudy when shaken). Some people like to keep everything in the freezer
and eliminate the ice all together, but the little bit of ice meltage is *part of the
drink*, and figures into the classic recipes.

A big glass of gin or vodka might be just what some people want, and vodka plus
vermouth might make a fine drink; but these aren't really Martinis.

This might seem pedantic, but when you have a predictable relationship between
specific words and specific concepts, you have what we call a 'language', which
makes most communication a bit easier. *Most* of the stupid client quotes
ultimately boil down to the lack of a shared language for discussing something.

If I ordered a martini and was served vodka, up, I'd complain too. The only
stupidity of the bar patrons is that they apparently able to tell that the bar in
question is the kind of place that serves cold vodka when you asked for a martini.

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