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Stupid Client Quote #6975

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chesterdude87 | posted 03-10-2009 | Number of Votes: 115  |  Current Rating: 4.49   

i was working for a small computer repair shop in 2005. we take calls from corporate morons who just "want their computers to go" as tech support for like $50 an hour.

one particular day i'm fixing a computer. just mozying around minding my own business enjoying my seclusion in the far back of what used to be a bank, and has been retrofitted to be a computer repair shop. the phone rings.

me: xxxx shop, how can i help you?

mr cust: hi, i can't get my computer to power on today, i came in and it just will not power on no matter what i do.

(we got this call once a day at least, the guy left his computer on the night before, and the janitor performed a hard shut off via the power supply switch.

Me: ohhk, not a problem sir, if you'll look behind the computer there is a switch that....

mr. cust: no the switch is on the front, i'm pressing it and nothing's happening, not even a blink.

me: are you sure there's no switch on the back? could you check for me real quick?

Mr. cust: look, the computer is buried in my desk under piles of crap i'm not getting it out when i know there's no switch on it.

(at this point i become very calm. i kick my feet up, i get comfortable, i begin playing with the curly qs in the phone line. it's his ass if he's going to be an opulent prick.)

me: ok sir, so long as you're sure.

Mr. cust: so what do i do?

me: well lets try a couple of things. do you have a power strip?

mr. cust: yes.

me: well lets switch that out and see if perhaps you caught a surge in the night and it's gone bad.

mr. cust:(sigh) ok.

10 minutes later...

ok, i got the surge protector hooked up, what do i do now?

Me: go ahead and turn it on

mr. cust: (sigh) it's still not working.

me: OK. your power strip is probably fine, i would put the old one back on then, so we'll keep our variables controlled.

mr. cust: o....k....(sigh)

10 minutes later...

me: Ok, is your monitor coming on?

mr. Cust: yes, the little light is on but it says "NO SIGNAL."

me: oh! i know just the thing then. do you have an extra power cable?

mr. cust: what's that?

me: oh that's the black cable going from the back of your power supply to the power strip.

mr. cust: no i don't have an extra.

me: ok, well you'll need to get one, you can probably borrow one from someone else's computer momentarily.

mr. cust: be right back (sighing in background)

5 minutes later...

Mr. Cust: ok, i've got the cable, now what?

me: well you're going to have to pull the computer out to plug it into the back

Mr. cust: ugh....ok, fine i guess if i have to.

me: i'll wait (begin whistling)

(rustling on phone line followed by "click." then the hum of the computer powering on and finally "sonofabitch.")

me: hello?

mr. cust: know it works all of a sudden, i'm getting another call *CLICK.

me: awww bad day douchebag? maybe next time you'll listen.

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